Many things are happening inside your teen’s mind. As a parent, and for other curious parents, it’s helpful to understand how your teen is developing intellectually.
Here are some intellectual changes you’ll notice in your teen:
1. Abstract thinking. Your teen is developing the brain power to grasp abstract ideas, such as complex math concepts.
2. Understanding of morality. Teens begin to have their ideas about morality. During the teenage years, kids are figuring out what’s okay and not okay to do or say. This particular aspect of development is often the source of your teen’s adamant disagreement with you if you try to steer them away from certain “types” of friends.
3. Formation of their own opinions. Up until this point, pre-teens may have wanted to disobey you, but they didn’t. However, now as teens, they begin having their ideas and they’ll likely feel very strongly about them For example, they might say things like, “You can’t take away my car keys because it’s my car,” or “There’s nothing inappropriate about wearing ear expanders,” or “My music is so much better than what you listen to.” This is a normal progression through adolescence keep this in mind as your teen develops their independence.
4. Questioning everything. Adolescence is often characterized by the teen’s insistence on questioning much of what you do as a parent or want them to do as your son or daughter. For example, they might ask things like, “Why can’t I stay out until midnight on Friday night?” or “Why can’t I get a tattoo on my neck?”
5. Deeper capacity for relationships. As teens mature, they begin to understand more about relationships, especially those that involve intimate thoughts and feelings. Teens tend to be quite interested in having and maintaining romantic relationships.
Their confidence is building as they see that a successful boyfriend or girlfriend relationship largely depends on their choices and ability to share things about themselves.
Your teen may feel madly attached to their chosen partner and want to spend every waking moment with them.
When you understand that desiring emotional relationships is a sign that teens are maturing, you may find dating issues a little easier to accept and deal with. This doesn’t mean allowing any or all relationships in their lives, but rather knowing that this is part of their development.
6. More mature behavior. Even though your teen may drive you over the edge at times, they are still showing signs of maturity. For example, if they want to drive a car, they may step up to care for a younger sibling, and they usually start to complete household tasks or school work independently.
Try to remember what you went through while growing up. Reflecting on your adolescent years may remind you to approach your teen’s experience with a bit more understanding, patience, and a sense of humor.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
~E.E. Cummings